Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Totally Recall

David Emerson is an ass, Stephen Harper is a slimy prick. I'm glad to see that protesters are basically forcing the media to take an interest in the issue. Without media pressure, I don't imagine the Government will do anything. I wouldn't have cared too much if Emerson crossed over pre election and people liked him enough to vote conservative, but to get those votes and then cross over, thats just plain ol dirty politics. Major cities in Canada were trying to send the Conservatives a message by blocking them out of Vancouver, Montreal and Toronto.

I'm not sure how Harper convinced Emerson to do the deed but I imagine:
Stevezee: Yo Dave!
Demerzone!: Sup?
Stevezee: Chillin, chillin So there's something I wanted to talk to you about..
Demerzone!: uhh, ok.
Stevezee: I've always liked you
Demerzone!: thanks, I think you're a good man.
Stevezee: A hard man is good to find.
Demerzone!: hahahaha I love that one..
Stevezee: No really, you and me, like Jake and're Heath
Demerzone!: Why do you get to be Jake?
Stevezee: I'll let you be Jake if you join the Conservatives.
Demerzone!: :).... Why can't I quit you?!?
-End of conversation-
I encourage everyone to get involved, I stole the above photo from the first sight to help spread the word. its sad that we have to fight like this just to make these vote count.
here's another petition:
BFP says: wow. apparently in german, when you're 10 years old they decide if you're going to go to a trade school or university.
BFP says: germany that is.
BFP says: another piece of trivia for you: if you are sentenced to death in idaho or oklahoma you have the option to die by firing squad. god bless america.
metamator says: God is Great
BFP says: allahu akhbar.
Neil Young

I waited for you, Winterlong
You seem to be where I belong.
It's all illusion anyway.

If things should ever turn out wrong
And all the love we have is gone,
It won't be easy on that day.

Waiting to follow
Through the dreamlight of your way
Is not so easy for me now.

Half the time has passed away
Things we thought of yesterday
Come back now, come back now.

Waiting to follow
Through the dreamlight of your way
Is not so easy for me now.

Half the time has passed away
Things we thought of yesterday
Come back now, come back now.

Monday, February 20, 2006

I do love fish and chips, but not the shit sandwiches

Let me start today's post by saying that I am an Australian, I have a dual Canadian and Aussie citizenship, while it was only 5 years of my life (so far), I really love Australia and I think Aussies are some of the best people I've ever met, best of all I felt no fingers. You may say to yourself he's just saying this he's not THAT Australian so I will share with you my experiences that make me a true blue dinky die Aussie:

1. I've swallowed flies while riding my bike to school.
2. I've had Fat Cat, Humphrey B Bear and later Kenny Kidna tell me its bedtime.
3. I celebrated "Hey Hey its Saturday" every weekend while eating chicken treat.
4. I watched "neighbours", "Home and away" and "hey dad"
5. I know how awesome John Farnam is in his Whispering Jack era.
6. I remember Rita the Eta Eater and ate cheesies every day at lunch.
7. I watched a Test Match and I've been to Eagles games.
8. I ate lamb at the Subiaco Weekend Market and remember "roster" signs to get petrol.
9. I know that Gardens in Vancouver are ugly cause people in Perth actually garden.
10. I've paid too much for Records and cd's at Dada, 78 records and on occasion Brashes.
11. I've had meat pie drippings run down my arm when eating an aussie meat pie.
12. I had sock tan that look like black on white.
13. I know what a Bogun is and I know what a Dag is.
14. I bought my first soldering iron from Dick Smiths.
15. I've wasted unspeakable amounts of time and money in Time Zone.

Okay so recently I got this email fwd, I don't usually read these but for some reason I read this one. It was in all size 20 Font and every sentence is followed by and Aussie flag and there's a midi playing "Advanced Australia Fair", it went like this:

Fw: It's Our Country! BLOODY OATH, MATE!!!!!!!!!

Australia- The Right to Leave

Our Country - YOU Have the right - the right to leave !

After Sydney not wanting to offend other cultures by putting up Christmas lights.

After hearing that the State of South Australia changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver's license with her face covered.

This prompted this editorial written by an Australian citizen. Published in an Australian newspaper.


I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.

However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia.

However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.

This idea of Australia being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.

This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part
of our society, Learn the language!

Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, Because God is part of our culture.

If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like " A Fair Go", then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.

We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, And we really don't care how you did things where you came from.

This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this.

But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our National Motto, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,


If you aren't happy here then rack off! We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted. Pretty easy really, when you think about it.

I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends (and enemies) it will also, sooner or later get back to the complainers, lets all try, please.

No matter how many times you receive it... please forward it to all you know .

***End Of FWD***

Ok, so I started reading this and I can tell from the large thread of people getting it, its really making the rounds. At first I was like "yeah, you tell them!" then I was like, "Oh shit, I see things are taking a turn for the ignorant". Aussies have a history of getting riled up and doing silly things like burning mosques or boycotting a country because one of their citizens was caught smuggling drugs there and so on.

I just want to go on the record that this fwd is full of shit and if you really feel the way this email does, your have issues with people based on race. Racism is a big deal in Australia (at least to me), when I talk about this, my family and friends kind of make that face like "here we go again" but its writings like these that rile up aussies and bring up old emotions that aren't helping anyone. What is this Christianity thing? The people I knew in Perth weren't particularly religious and hated they way Christians seemed to shove god down their throats.

First of all, there are Pro White political parties in Australia (The ANM, Australian Nationalist Movement, they were called when I was young), and they still have lots of power, years after I left Perth, My mom left and she said that things were worse than when I was there cause of some lady called Pauline Hansen. (please note this had nothing to do with why my mom left, cause the racism never really bothered her) . I don't know Pauline but I remember when I was there there was another gentleman (her predecessor who's name escapes me) from the ANM who had the slogan of "Asians Out" going strong when I was growing up there. There were posters of the Chinaman with the squinty eyes and the buck teeth all over the place, of course with the catchy "Asians Out" slogan. The statement that "immigrants should adapt" is kind of shitty too, cause you would be hard pressed to find an indigenous group more oppressed than the Aboriginals (at least in the city I lived in). In Canada I actually know Natives who do well, I went to school with natives and while I do think they are also oppressed, I can't say I went to school with an aboriginal or knew one to really make it in society in Perth.

Like in Canada, aboriginal kids were taken from their families back in the day. Unlike Canada, they aboriginals with fairer skin were separated cause they had to have been smarter than the aboriginals with darker skin.

I've been told by a very wise Aussie, that multiculturalism promotes segregation and that's the problem in Australia and even in Canada. Also that minorities want to be treated better than everyone else. While I don't completely disagree with the segregation statement, cause we have neighbourhoods that seem to be dense with certain cultures (East Indian neighbourhood, Kitsilano used to be the Greek Area, don't even get me started on Richmond), We don't have the same racial issues as Australia at least not to that extreme.

I think I would know this even better than most cause being an asian growing up in Perth in an area that had very few Asians, I received the attention that only an Asian (or other VISIBLE Minority) could receive. (I say visible cause my German friend received not even a hitler reference, even with his thick accent)

What kind of of attention you ask? here are some real life examples that happened to me.

0. First of all I had people name call me all the time, students, strangers, they didn't even bother with getting the race right, they called me Gook and Nip in addition to Chink(y) and slant eyes. I can gladly say I was never beaten up, but I was always kind of a big kid. Below are some of my most memorable ones.
1. My friends who were good people, still at times had streaks of racism shine through, they would say something like "Yeah I don't like Chinese people" and I would say "Uh, I'm Chinese" and they would say something like "No, your Canadian" or "your not like them".
2. One of my friends had a dad who likes the drinky drinky, and in all the years he knew me he only spoke to me once and made this excellent joke: Hey, your from Canada right. So you must be an Eskimo, cause.. (I don't remember the rest but it doesn't matter)
3. Once at a Queue at a major department store, a young boy was in front of me in line with his mom.. it went like this.. "chinky chinky chinky".."Uhh, Maam, do you hear what your son is saying"...(silence and eye contact with mother)... boy-"chinky, chinky, chinky".. "you know, I don't blame your son for your ignorance".. I walked away to go admire an Asians Out poster.
4. I was at a bus loop waiting to take the bus downtown, there was hardly anyone around, but I did see, some boguns in one area and a chinese kid by himself in another area. Fast forward 2 minutes and I see 3 Boguns beating up this kid and was praying to so many gods they didn't foreign almond shape of my eyes.
5. When my sister Graduated from high school, they printed out this book of cartoon drawings of all the grads with a couple nick names, they drew her with eyes closed and gave her the nickname " Cat-Eater" yes its the same syllable count and even rhymes with our last name, but honestly..
6. here's my favourite, Once I was in Myers with my friends and I accidentally, lightly bumped into this older lady. I said "Sorry, excuse me" and while I walked away the husband said out loud "sometimes those kind of people can't see". My friends and I were in such shocked that nice nice old man said this that we almost didn't even realize it happened.

I know the message of the editorial/fwd is that immigrants need to integrate so that aussies don't have animosity but, they don't really promote the integration all too well from my standpoint and I had the advantage to speaking the language.

I have to stop cause look how long this is.. no lyrics today just this excellent guest chat:

#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:HI
Dr. Robotanist says:hello
Dr. Robotanist says:who are you?
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:IM SAM U ?
Dr. Robotanist says:why did you add me to your list, sam?
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:PLAESE JUST WHAT YOUR NAME
Dr. Robotanist says:you can't read it?
Dr. Robotanist says:why did you add me to your list, sam?
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:I GET YOUR EMAIL IN HI5
Dr. Robotanist says:I don;t use hifive.
Dr. Robotanist says:someone gave you a wrong email address
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:DO YOU SPIKE ARABICK
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:U R BOYS OR GIRL
Dr. Robotanist says:boy
Dr. Robotanist says:no arabic
Dr. Robotanist says:only english
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:WHERE ARE U FROME
Dr. Robotanist says:canada
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:DO YOU ADD ME
Dr. Robotanist says:hey, that's my picture!
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:NOP
Dr. Robotanist says:I did not add you. you added me.
Dr. Robotanist says:I gues sI should block you now.
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:OK
#GaMe OvEr#...>>>sam...<<< says:NO BROBLEM DO YOU HAVE EMAILS GIR L
Dr. Robotanist says:nope.
Dr. Robotanist says:bye bye
Dr. Robotanist says:good luck in the future.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Gong Hay Fat Choi!

Happy new year, I think its gonna be a good year. I've been hit with a flurry of small miracles (some smaller than others). Overall I feel good, positive about the future. I've been eating well, I went to Gotham Steak House last night and I have dinner at Bacchus tonight (dine-out vancouver).

I've never had a bunch of lucky things happen to me, its just not the kind of luck I'm used to, coincidentally all this started on Chinese New year Day. I was all pissy about CNY this year cause I'm married now so I don't get the lucky money, but with all these positive happenings, how can I be a hater? My childhood memories of CNY was me trying to remember "gong hay fat choi" and it was hard for me.. so my dad taught me "come here fat boy" and I never forgot it since.

It may or may not be clear, but I am a game geek, I like video games, I'm a grown ass man who has the toys teenagers want. Recently I stumbled upon a Neo Geo CD emulator for my PSP. This things been rocking my world, its all the glory of 90's arcade goodness in the palm of my hand.. the neo geo wipes its ass with 16 bit consoles such as the super Nintendo. If you are a PSP owner who held out on the oppressive system updates I recommend checking it out.

I watched the constant gardener, this is a great movie about how terrible a wife this poor dude has. Oh she was trying to protect him from the baddies and spent all her time with another man. So he ruins his life trying to figure out why she was killed, what she's about and what's with dude she's always with yada yada. Anyhow he spends all this tough time learning the stuff he should have known if only she had communicated to him.

metamator says: I got this thing in the mail from stephen harper
metamator says: I GET TO GO TO DARCY ISLAND!!
BFP says: was it a head tax?
BFP says: sweet!
metamator says: hope there's wireless!

Guest Chat:
Robotanist says: I AM THE DARK LORD! OBEY ME!!!1
J says: yes my master. what is your bidding?
Robotanist says: gimme props.
Robotanist says: M MMMMAD PROPS!!!!
J says: Robotanist is the best!
J says: he is truly the dark lord of cool!!
J says: Robotanist's hair smells like flowers
J says: Robotanist is the best fooseball player i know.
J says: and he's an okay bass player.
Robotanist says: that last one wasn't mad enuff!!
J says: mad?
J says: why do i need to be mad?
J says: can't i just be serene?
Robotanist says: yeah. opk
Robotanist says: ok

Song in my head right now:
Hefner: Hello Kitten
Album: Boxing Hefner

Hello kitten I don’t miss sex just the feeling of skin against skin that I want,
The photos I take are not the photos I like, they look dull, they look crap when placed next to real life,
You have a blue iris with a hint of burnt of sienna and it wrestles my hate to the ground,
You have inquisitive eyebrows that make me soft centred and your lips make a purring sound. (your lips make a purring sound)
I’m going to make myself go blind tonight,
I’m going to make myself go blind tonight,
I’m going to build a shrine to the wasted days,
I’m going to make myself go blind tonight.
Hello kitten, you’ll never know what it’s like to be me when I’m curled at your feet,
I thought you were perfect but that racist joke just made it all bitter sweet.
Won’t you slap me around and make my lips a bit swollen so we can spend a day off work,
Won’t you cut up my arm and lock it in a suitcase, cause love is coming in spurts, I’m so fucking happy it hurts.