How to fight Girls

If you’re from an area east of Burnaby, sorry to inform you there will be no actual physical moves detailed here.

I have had girlfriends, my last one decided that I would be the “one” so I became a husband, but one area I suffered in during each relationship is fighting. Its not really like guys to always “bring up shit from the past” that’s kind of more of a girl thing, in fact some do it all the time, when fighting and guys don’t even really notice it. But shit, if you did it just once, probably an anvil come a flying down and smashed your stupid skull.

Seriously it always happens to me, like I get in a fight, then later I was like “SHIT she totally just brought up a bunch of shit from the past, but now I can’t say shit, because it’s in the past” I realized that man is ill-equipped to identify when something from the past has been brought up, where women have some kinda goddam sensor “beep beep opposition has deployed issues occurring on date previous to today”.

My wife told me that for some girls, accessing a memory from the past is not like a guys, when they do, they have very detailed memories of the event; also the emotions they were feeling are revisited as well, almost as if they opened a book. For guys it’s more like, “I remember that day, she ruined my awesome rib eye steak with a fight about me not being nice to her friends”.

I’m trying to develop a method to even the battle ground, just a little.

1. Listen carefully, and when you can’t handle it, pretend to be listening: this will help to contain her anger, if she thinks your not listening, you’re in trouble.
2. Remain calm; keeping your cool is like winning half the battle, also it makes agro people even more crazy ( loads of fun )
3. Take you time before you open your stupid mouth, hey man, did she just attack you based on something that happened weeks, months even years ago, instead of lashing back with that cherry you have planned, just say something to the effect of “I think we should try not to bring up issues from the past” or simply “please don’t bring up stuff from the past.”
4. Lastly, right after she brings up something from the past and you called her on it, you should bring up something from the past. Hopefully she’s so shocked at your level of alertness that she wont think to call you on it.. if she does then you should apologize, and say that her doing bringing up issues from the past upset you and your judgment was clouded.

Like all turds, this turd needs polishing, so do what works for you, but don’t be a statistic.