Friday, January 20, 2006

Junky threat level is redish orange

Kids are smart, too smart perhaps to break two layers of glass, to get a piece of shit that loosely resembled a laptop. I would say even a majority of street people are of reasonable intelligence and also would have noticed that laptops that look like that are probably not worth the rock they need to smashy smashy. I can only assume that crack heads have infiltrated our fresh air defence barrier and are invading UBC. Pretty soon its gonna be like dawn of the dead out here.. well maybe without all the killing and be honest, I feel terrible for the person who stole this, cause 1) they are really dumber than a bag of hammers and 2) they are gonna roll up to a pawn shop and get offered a used lighter for this thing.

The crimewave even made us doubt our co-workers:

metamator says: laptop missing, cragg missing
e says: sounds suspicious
metamator says: suspiciously from surrey
e says: i say we have our prime suspect
metamator says: if he's wearing a black jacket and needs a haircut.. its gonna look bad.
e says: yup. real bad.

Everyone has a friend, who is just a little bit awkward or clumsy. Maybe its just a small amount of bad luck, whatever.. to the rest of us its awesome. A friend of mine changed his messenger name to "ouch my anus" so I guess he wants people to ask:

metamator says: 1) how are you? 2) whats with the name?
D says: I fell backward on my anus, and it hurt. While snowboarding
metamator says: wtf? how do you fall on your anus? something in the snow?
D says: no just the snow is formed into the appropriate shape
metamator says: are you sure you weren't skiing down bare back mountain.
D says: haha
metamator says: I hate to say it.. but I get a kick out of your multiple non serious injuries. theres this, getting repeatedly punched in the nuts, the bird shit splashing into your mouth.
D says: well I aim to please.

I’ve been checking out the “hot karl” album.
Hot Karl - Kerk Gybson
Album: the Great Escape

Transformers were more than meets the eye
We called 8-6-7-5-3-0-9
And hope we get Jenny but we never did
We got cassette singles and garbage pail kids
Rainbow bright was the girls favourite toy
And tetris was the shit on the first gameboy
The NBA changed with Larry Bird and Magic
Madonna didn't have that fake British accent
I was in the valley blasting eye of the tiger
Top down cruising to Kit from Knight Rider


At 6:01 PM, Blogger gwilli said...

I had a similar conversation with him after you told me about this....

Robotanist: dude. people don't hurt their anuses unless they're sticking things in there.
Robotanist: greg told me you "fell" on it.
Robotanist: but that's not how the world works.
Ouch. My anus!: no man
Ouch. My anus!: i can tell you from experience
Robotanist: it's just too much to believe
Robotanist: Handwritten instant messages cannot be displayed in your message history.
Robotanist: maybe if you fell on something like that.
Ouch. My anus!: no penetration
Ouch. My anus!: Handwritten instant messages cannot be displayed in your message history.
Robotanist: then it should be the glutes hurting.
Ouch. My anus!: Handwritten instant messages cannot be displayed in your message history.
Robotanist: Handwritten instant messages cannot be displayed in your message history.
Robotanist: ?
Ouch. My anus!: Handwritten instant messages cannot be displayed in your message history.
Robotanist: I know why it happened. you have your feet too close together on your board
Robotanist: not good.
Ouch. My anus!: see your butt cheeks open when you fall backwards
Robotanist: mine don't.
Robotanist: kinda like my eye lids. they CLOSE when there's danger
Ouch. My anus!: yea so what, you have to wipe poo off your butt cheeks when you take a crap?
Ouch. My anus!: i don't think so
Ouch. My anus!: the cheeks separate to keep clean
Ouch. My anus!: it's evolutionary
Robotanist: when you fall?!?! that's devolution!
Ouch. My anus!: it's the same body position
Ouch. My anus!: i guess i have to train some muscle memory into my ass then
Robotanist: sure do!
Ouch. My anus!: i'll work that into my parkour traning routine
Robotanist: wow you have a routine now?
Ouch. My anus!: nope
Robotanist: you shoudl

At 12:57 AM, Blogger wiwian said...

can I charge you for copywrite since you posted our conversation?
now I need to be careful when talking to you :D

At 7:08 PM, Blogger ween said...

so was the anus person Viv, then?

At 10:47 AM, Blogger metamator said...

WEEEEEN! Your detective skills are powerful. Gwilli, thank you for posting my very first guest messaging entry!

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